A Lesson From a Cartoon

Cartoons can be considered mindless entertainment but quite often you will find yourself actually learning something from a cartoon. The timeliest example for me is a certain episode of Futurama. In this episode (which is actually one of my favorites) Bender is drifting through space and ends up becoming a host to a miniature civilization that grows from a meteor that hit him. At the end of the episode he ends up meeting this celestial body that we presume is God since it knows all and all that jazz. Anyway, this “thing” (for lack of a better word) gives Bender a good bit of advice: “When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.” I find this concept to be pretty accurate. This concept kind of coincides with the idea that you’re supposed to do good things just to do good things and not for recognition or for something in return. This, if you really think about it, sucks a big load of pustule dick. I get the idea of it and I understand that doing good is suppose to be personally rewarding or whatever bullshit you want to feed yourself but at the end of the day it doesn’t count for a lick of shit. I guess if you believe in heaven, and not even necessarily a God of some sort, then maybe this idea of being good holds some value to you because it’ll get you VIP access in heaven—kind of like how hot slutty girls dress hot and slutty to avoid lines and cover charges at night clubs. Let us take this concept and apply with no religious or spiritual rewards or consequences—so we’ll pretend, for a moment, that there is no God. Without the notion of heaven or karma or anything of that sort, this concept becomes incredibly depressing. If you do things right and your nice and all that good benevolent junk then no one will be sure you did anything at all, but if you’re mean and an asshole you’ll get what you want and people will take notice to you. I mean you wonder why people in this world are such ungrateful assholes and it boils down to our most simplest of nature. If you have a dog or a small child that constantly wines or begs for food, or what have you, and you say no constantly but eventually you give up and just give it what it wants to shut it up then it wins. Not only does it win but you’re teaching this dog or child a terrible but apparently valuable lesson about life: assholes run shit. There are tons of examples of this in everyday life, just think about it. Nine times out of ten your boss of bosses at work is probably an asshole or a bitch and how do you think they got that gig? You think they got it from being nice? Perhaps they were “nice” to the right people (i.e. kissed the right asses) but ultimately they’re assholes and they got the job from being an asshole. When you call any company for technically assistance of some kind, like calling AT&T for problems with your bill, sure you can be nice and things will probably get fixed back to how they used to be but where’s the incentive? If you make the same call but you’re an asshole and you complain a lot and cause all these problems just to get your way, you will get your way and in fact, you’ll probably be rewarded. I have a friend who used to call a certain company on a regular basis and pretend to be mad about some issue and he would just complain to them and almost every time they would end up giving him either a gift card or credit onto his account. I think that pretty much sums up the asinine construct of our society. Where’s the incentive to be good or nice when being a jerk gets you places? Being an asshole even gets you laughs since being a jerk can be hilarious (to everyone you’re not being a jerk to) and it even gets you women! Girls love assholes (people not anuses) it’s almost a proven fact. Nice people are boring and assholes are fun.

I don’t know, I suppose I’m just bitter because I’m actually a nice and pretty good person and it often goes over looked. People take advantage of kindness and it’s hard to keep being nice when it commands no results but maybe a pat on the back. I still prefer to be nice over being a jerk but sometimes I teeter on that idea and maybe one day, from too much of this, I’ll end up giving up and becoming an asshole.

Anyway I need to stop writing about this because it makes me sound like a depressed whiny bitch and that’s not who I am. Life is good.