Disorganization

I don't think there is anything more disorganized in my life then my brain. It's essentially the root of all my personal problems that I won't go into here. My sleeping "disorder" (I use quotes because you have to be diagnosed with a disorder) is caused by my brain because I'm up till 5 a.m. every night just from thinking--about anything: life, school, women, super powers...In fact the other night I was up till 7 in the morning just laying in my bed thinking about the necessary real life actions I'd have to take if I won the lottery and what I'd do with it. Another thing that scares me about my brain is it's inconsistency. One minute all I want for breakfast is Coco Krispies then the next day i'll be so turned off by Coco Krispies I'd op not to even eat breakfast if it was all I had to eat which I feel carries over into other parts of my life. Will I quickly grow tire of other things? Like will I wake up one day and just not be attracted to my wife? I know relationships in the early years of my life can't be compared to the women I'll one day marry but it's still a pretty scary thing to think about I guess. On the other end of the spectrum, however, I love my brain. I like how my brain processes things and I like it's outlook on things and sometimes it's quick reaction time woos me. So this love hate relationship I guess is the negative outcome of growing up because it's just eager to grow and learn and be mature way before I'm suppose to and it's a mixed blessing because sometimes you have to enjoy your immaturity. I guess by having to grow up fast I narrowed my choices for a mate down to just women older than I so that we can be on the same page mentally I suppose. Honestly though at this point I think I'll just marry the first beautiful charming women I meet that can make my laugh.

Who you gonna call?

If there's anything I've learned about dating throughout my life is that: If your not going to marry the person your with then it's just a learning experience. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying you can't have genuine feelings for a person you've been with for 3 or 4 years or anything I'm just over simplifying the concept. How do you know what kind of guy or girl your into? Well the way our species does it is by comparison and contrasting, and the best way we do this is by dating. Think about how much you learn about yourself and others by dating, for example: Say you date someone who calls you too much and always wants to know what your doing and who your with and you end up breaking up--well now you know you need a person that can trust you and can give you your space. By dating you learn what type of person you need to make you happy and what type of people turn you off. You have to be turned on and turned off to know your turn on's and turn off's...if that makes sense. When I was younger I used to take break ups to heart and I'd feel down and wonder what was wrong with me till I got older and realized that there isn't anything wrong with me I just wasn't dating the right person and I should just enjoy the time I have with certain people and if I'm in a relationship or dating someone and it goes sour then so be it. The future is vast and dating and relationship trouble is petty. Obviously it's not always so cut and dry and simple, there will be drama and there will be heartbreaks but the only thing you can do is be yourself and hope the pieces will fall into place, you can't force it or it won't be natural and it just won't work. Also, and I mean no offense by this (can't stress that enough) but FUCK "EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON" no it doesn't. Life is random things don't always have to happen for a reason; a guy getting his ass beat for hitting women--that happens for a reason, but other then simple action reaction nothing is predetermined for you. Serendipity and spontaneity. If there is a god he's not up there creating chance opportunities for you to meet people and he's not setting you up with people, take some damn responsibility sometimes--Life is what you make it, doesn't get any simpler than that because life IS what you make it. Life is gonna suck if you think it sucks, get over it. Your not Egon Spengler so quit chasing ghosts. Keep learning, keep improving, and just enjoy yourself. Your not dead so you got that going for ya.


-ChrisDon'tCrossTheStreamsGio


Edit: after posting this I found an interesting article you should read about staying positive and avoiding negativity
(and it has a nice ferris buller quote)